Key points
- Waiting until children are ready to meet a new partner improves the chances that the new relationship will succeed.
- When introducing their children to a new partner, parents should typically wait until the relationship is strong and has lasted 9-12 months.
- The integration should be gradual. Start with a brief meeting in a neutral place. Let your ex-spouse know ahead of time.
Nine-year-old Tina (not her real name) confides that her dad has a new girlfriend, Lucy, and that she came over for dinner last night. “Lucy sat in my chair, I’m always next to Daddy, and he didn’t tell her it was my seat.” Tina sobs as she relates this to me.
Jenny, who’s 14, tells me that meeting Mom’s new boyfriend was “annoying.” “He tries too hard to be funny, and watching them snuggle on the couch was gross,” she says.
Jon, 16, says he retreated to his room and blasted the music his dad hates when his dad calls him out to meet the new girlfriend. “No way am I ready for that,” he says angrily. Continue reading