- Lack of integration into each other’s lives. You’ve never met their parents. They’ve never met your friends. And neither of you can find each other’s houses without the aid of a smartphone. If your connection seems to exist in a vacuum, it could be a situationship.
- The relationship doesn’t grow or end. Simply put: You aren’t talking about the future or what either of you want long term. All you really know is that the relationship (whatever it is) is working well enough right now.
It all comes down to the people involved and the way they interact. Situationships can be fulfilling, frustrating or downright toxic. And like any other romantic attachments, Dr. Albers says communication and honesty are key.
Situationship red flags
Situationships can be deeply rewarding when they’re what you and your pseudo-partner really want. But the ambiguous nature of these pairings can also open the door for miscommunication, dishonesty and, in some cases, even abuse.
- One-sidedness. “A situationship can become toxic if you have different expectations for the relationship, or if the power dynamic between the participants is unequal” Dr. Albers cautions. Here’s a good question to ask yourself: If your situationship ended tomorrow, how would you feel? Do you think they’d feel the same way?
- Feeling undervalued. Do you feel like you’re being used for sex? Does it seem like they only call you when their other plans fall through, or they have “nothing better to do”? Are you starting to wonder if they even like you as a person? Continue reading