You didn’t do anything wrong with that email. The first step is to get a hold of yourself and regain composure. You are on the right track. All the best.
Kevin, me and my ex were dating for 5 years until in 2013 I made the horrible mistake of cheating on her, I realized that mistake and gave her space and about 4 months later we got back together, I messed up and hung out with the same girl again and my gf found out about it again and now we have broken up. she says she is confused and doesnt know what to do and needs space. what should I do?
Hi Kevin, My girlfriend and I have been together 20 months. I’m 29, recently finished grad school. She’s 20, and a college senior.
I never met anyone in person or physically cheated. I’m ashamed to say some of the sexting stuff was very explicit, and I now realize it was definitely cheating. I also bragged/joked to some guy friends about some of this, which was how my girlfriend found out (she read my text messages after I got home). I’ve also had wandering eyes in the past, and grappled with the idea of monogamy. I want to change and grow out of all this, no matter what happens between my gf and I.
I’ve made some of the mistakes in the 48 hours since this happened (begging/pleading, profusely apologizing and using pity). But I think I can stop and use some of your 5 steps. We’ve talked twice and she seems fixed on splitting up (90% of her stuff is packed and moved to her parents, who live nearby). But she has been open to communicating/meeting to talk more, despite a very explosive initial reaction to the discovery.
I was out of town for several weeks recently , and signed up for a dating app, and flirted/sexted with women, and entertained the idea of hooking up
So I guess where I’m at now is how or should I just accept the breakup she seems to want, and use the no contact period to make positive changes in myself (mainly addressing the cheating, and figure out how to grow out of that crap). Continue reading