How To Love Someone When It Feels Like The Spark Is Gone

How To Love Someone When It Feels Like The Spark Is Gone

Relationship challenges, conflicts, and concerns can cause partners to feel that the initial “spark” of love has gone. When couples say they no longer feel a “spark,” it may mean that they’re missing the initial feeling of infatuation or that long-term commitment has become challenging.

Meeting your partner and falling in love may have felt exciting, new, and intense. You might have felt that it was the only factor in your life. However, as time goes on, you could notice that you see more of your partner’s flaws or that you focus more on other areas of your life without thinking of them.

Studies show that there are several stages of love that couples can go through. Many people feel they are losing the spark after passing through the initial stages. However, there are ways to reconnect with intimacy in all the stages of love. Although relationships can struggle, they can also often be repaired. Moving past the initial stages of your love doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship must end.

What is the “spark”?

When you think of a literal spark, you might think of a bright flash of orange light that creates heat and can start a fire. A “spark” in a relationship might feel warm, exciting, or like the beginning of something new and intense. You may feel that the spark is your initial attraction and the fire resulting represents your love and relationship.

However, the fire might feel overwhelming. It could get out of control or burn. In a metaphorical sense, losing a spark and feeling burned by a relationship could mean conflict or the realization that you have committed to a situation that requires hard work and care. With some work, you may get a healthy metaphorical fire going in your relationship or marriage.

What makes a spark disappear?

How to know when love is gone? After some time, you may notice that the feelings you once felt for your partner has subsided. Maybe you feel a new type of love or comfort with your partner, or perhaps you wonder if you love them at all. Although losing infatuation and excitement in your relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t love your partner, you may want to reflect on what has changed. It is important to see what caused the spark to be gone before it turns into empty love.

Your relationship stage has changed

It can be normal for relationships to change over time. As you become more comfortable and familiar with the other person, you might feel calmer, more content, and, at times, bored. You e pop up in a text message but feel happy when you come home from work and see their smile. Even if you love them intensely, you might feel that they have become part of your routine.

You’ve become busy with other areas of life

You might also get caught up in other responsibilities in your life and have difficulty finding time for your partner. You and your partner might have jobs, bills, children, chores, and other responsibilities to turn your attention to. Your feelings for your partner may change, and you might stop making attempts to connect.

Noticing your partner’s flaws

When initial feelings of infatuation start to wear off, you might notice imperfections in your partner. You may notice them to the point that you struggle to remember why you fell in love and the positive qualities your partner possesses.

You’re experiencing conflicts

For some couples, recurrent conflicts might make the “spark” disappear. If you and your partner struggle to communicate, you might feel tired of fighting and emotionally try to detach yourself from the relationship to avoid conflict.

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